So I have a question that has been asked today... Steph comes home from the meeting (it was a struggle to go because she has been so sick, and just isn't back on her feet yet.) and she is really discouraged.  She says she tried to talk to people but no body would really acknowledge her.  Granted I wasn't there, so what do I know.  But I do have to say, there have been times I have been there and couldn't get anyone to even say HI back to me.  But she mentioned to a few people she has been sick, and no body knew it.  Granted again, everyone has been sick, so if she and they are missing at the same time, who is going to know?  She mentioned she had a big coughing fit during the meeting, but then I did hear a few people coughing during the meeting.   babbling.... 
so she said, if she is missing for 2 weeks, what do people think she is doing?  just skipping the meeting?  

This question came up last year, when she missed a whole month of meetings from being so super sick.  when she got back to the Hall, no one even knew she was sick.  When she mentioned it to an elder, he said he didn't know she wasn't around.  For a whole month?  

Have we all become so absorbed in our own little issues that we don't notice each other anymore?  I know that is what Satan wants, but still, we should be smarter than that.  

Ok, so that is my rant.  not that it matters, not that anything will ever change.  but i will try to learn from it.  i do hope Steph learns from it.  she is tired of not mattering to people.  that is one of the biggest reasons she wants to move to CA, because so many people actually take time to reach out.  Not to just those in the "comfort zone", but to everyone.  She felt like people actually care about her.  Now I told her, the more she gets involved with people here the more she will feel like that here too, but there is a fine line between reaching out and being pushy, and around here... :(

The fact is, there is only so much I can do and say.  I have been pretty much her only friend her whole life. she has made an effort with many, but everyone lives so far away or idk  
she isn't perfect and she has issues too, but how can i tell her she has to work on them and keep moving forward despite when it is evident that others don't.   actually, that is Satan's propaganda.  she has to keep fighting regardless of the fact no one else will.  someday, she will have a friend other than me.

she can make me laugh more than any single person i know.  i don't seriously laugh easily.  jokes are stupid, physical comedy is a cop-out.  what makes me "roll on the floor" laugh, is smart sharp one liners.  Perhaps her humor is like mine, and people don't get it.  I have worked with her to keep it simple.

For example I was like 11 or 12 and I was sitting with a group of older teens just listening to them.  I threw in a one liner and they all stopped and stared at me.  then smartest one of the group said, "that was deep and really funny".  yet... no one laughed.  the next few years i found i always had to explain my jokes, and when you have to do that, the funny falls out.  so by the time I was 15/16 i trained myself to keep it simple.  by the time i was 17, i was doing the "dumb blonde" type lines, but, people don't take you at all serious if they don't think you have a brain.  By the time I was 18/19 I began to find a balance.  

Instead of making Steph suffer through the years of figuring out humor, I helped her.  She knows how to wield it like a sword.  

Lauren and Colton are funny, but in very different ways from each other and from Steph.  The other two can make me laugh, but Steph... makes me roll on the floor.

I guess I needed to vent today. perhaps because i have been so sick the past few days.  and i know how it hurts when it seems no one cares that you are suffering.  i have tried to teach the kids you can NEVER make anyone change their ways, if you could, everyone would be a servant of Jehovah.  All anyone can do is just get through this horrible ugly repulsive system of things, and know one day it will get better.

EO will be home tonight.