Since this new change with Carol, we have been up early every morning.  When I say up early, normally I am up between 9-10am.  well, now it is between 6:30 and 7:30am.  I am falling asleep at the drop of a hat... well, for example, both yesterday and today, I wanted to get a head start on my aux pioneering for the month.  And due to this rapid deterioration Carol is in, I didn't figure i was going to be able to concentrate on my ministry after she passes.  Well, both yesterday and today I put in 4 hours each day.  I work for an hour and rest, work for an hour and rest... and so on.  Well, while i am writing, i am falling asleep.  i wake up to find, "opps, that is not a word". and I have been struggling to stay awake.  Yet, when I go to rest, I just can't seem to stay asleep, i just keep waking up. 

oh well, what can you do?

so Carol needs someone with her 24/7.  she didn't sleep last night and it was a good thing there were 2 people staying with her, because it took two people to keep up with her.  Mary M & Kristi had their hands full the whole night. We are so thankful they stayed!!! Lauren goes at 6am to take over and then EO has been getting there at about 10 am to take over for Lauren.  Then someone comes at 4pm to take over for EO and then around 10 pm, someone comes and stays until 6am. 

EO's nerves are so... raw/sensitive/worn.  He comes home and is so quiet.  The staff gave her 2-3 days, but... Colton has said he has seen some go as long as a week. My heart wishes I could be there to comfort her.  But my health and my body say... impossible.  All along I have wanted to be there for her. it just makes my heart ache so deeply that i can't.  

with all the heart ache and stress from this past year, it is no wonder my own health has deteriorated.  Everything has just gotten so much harder to do, i'm so confused and mentally lost all the time.  

so i am still working on recovering from my 'stumble'.  yesterday my arms ached so bad, i could hardly stand them.  ...stupid tendons i have.  i am really looking forward to going to the chiropractor on Wednesday.  I don't even know if EO can take me to my doc apts.

augh...i'm falling asleep again  hope that doesn't last long.  

ok, that's it.  i have to go to bed.  i was going to try to have something for lunch, but... i have to sleep NOW!!