The past few days have been ...  well, I posted what they have been... 

we got yet another call last night...  well several.  We were up most of the night getting hourly updates.  Then things were under control again for the most part and we managed to get just a few hours of sleep before EO had to leave this morning. When he gets home later, he will need to get some sleep, because he has a middle of the night shift tonight that he is taking so that everyone can get to the meeting.  Between EO and Carol's sisters they are covering the shifts so we don't have to ask anyone to miss a meeting.

Yesterday, i had printed up a copy of the Convention program and EO and I sat and considered it together.  One symposium was about all the things that should come second to Jehovah, and EO read "health".  He looked at me and said, what am I doing now?  I'm missing meetings and service to take care of mom.  
In which I said, right now, yes, however, consider how many Bethelites, C.O.'s, Missionaries, pioneers and so on have had to stop serving in order to care for a dying parent.  We just had that lesson on how if there are others who can help so they don't have to stop serving, then that is wonderful, ... but if there is no, they should not be looked down upon for caring for their Christian obligations of their aging parents. I told him, all these months, he has been to pretty much every meeting, and although service was tougher to accomplish fully, he still made efforts.  So this last week, the medical staff say she is at the end of her battle.  He has endeavored to provide her and the family with comfort.  What is his focus for Sunday, that of all those willing to help out, non of them should miss their meeting in caring for his own load.  

I told him, I could pretty much guarantee in that talk, they will say, to keep on fighting and not giving up despite health issues, and finding ways to keep on seeking first the Kingdom when our health throws us a road block.  Not using our health issues as an excuse to not do anything.  Not to be so overly preoccupied with our health that we miss what is of far greater importance, which is what our number one concern should be...

But as far as this?... being by the bedside of your mom in her last hours?  Clearly, that isn't the issue.  Now if he hadn't been at the meetings and hadn't been fighting to get in the ministry these past 9 months, then he would have some serious work to do on his heart condition.  But to know if you have a good heart condition, is if you are constantly and genuinely doing a heart check.  

me too.  i am always trying to figure out what more can i do?  what more can Jehovah help me to handle? in what ways can i be an encouragement to others?  but a big part of that, is having Jehovah's help to see the open doors and having His courage to walk through them.

Every day he has been there 6-8 hours a day.  trying to take up as much of the load as he can manage on his own.  I told him, "I think I know you well enough" (he said "yes"), and I proceeded to say... when it comes time, if he is there, leave the room.  Go in the waiting room and stay there.  And don't go back in once she is gone. Make phone calls, do what ever he has to do to not listen to what is going on.  I said, protect yourself from that.  I told him some people have no problem with it, but he is too much like I am, the memory of the end for my dad is as fresh as if I were standing there now.  It never goes away.  I would give anything to not have to have that memory.  That memory ruins you.  
I said it is bad enough he has had to witness the past 10 months, to see her vibrant to beyond frail.  He doesn't need to add to it and have to have her "ending" in his memory.  

He agreed.  He told me he was sorry I have had to live with seeing my dad's "end".  He said I know him well enough, he really doesn't want to have to carry that around.  He said his dad saw it with his first wife, and maybe his mom and he had the distinct impression that, it was a terrible wound for Bill as well. 

There are others who aren't bothered by it.  Who actually need to be there, but we are just the opposite. 

as for my health today.  My whole body is just in agony today.  Mostly my hips and low back...and legs and upper back... ok. my whole body.  I wanted to put 4 hours in the ministry today, but i've only done 2.  but i have the goal to get back to it after a little while.  I just took some more pain meds a bit ago.  So maybe hopefully, they will kick in and help me so I can do more.  Although pain this bad, might need something more.  Well, we will see. I would really like to get that 4 in today.  My scheduled amount is just 1 hour, but this is such a busy month, i would like to be well ahead on my service time.  I wish I could aux pioneer and do 30 hours every month!