i guess i just had such a melt down yesterday, stressing out about everything we are trying to cope with.  My bro had recently contacted my mom, and it just ticked me off.  He said he wanted to come out this fall to see her.  well, he said he was going to show up last spring, but never did.  so I was stewing that he is just getting her hopes up but he won't follow through.  it is like every time he sends her an email (all 3 or 4 times a year) that is his way of contributing to taking care of her.   ok, so it still irks me today too. but he just had no clue what it does to her, how she just lives on those 4 or 5 lines of text as if he were there with her.  i don't actually care anymore that for those weeks she is gushing over that email, she criticizes every little thing I do or don't do, but what hurts is, that she truly thinks he genuinely cares about her.  well, maybe it is best that i continue to let her have that image in her mind.  the truth is too cruel to let her see. 

well, a friend of mine told me about an old WT article that was very encouraging.  it is the   08WT 5/1 pg 25.  reviewing it helped me to know how to better support and comfort my moms as they both are going through such a terrible time right now.  it just breaks my heart.  I am going to have to keep that WT article close so I can keep it in mind.

it has been such a busy hectic day today.  we ended up having family worship late this morning after we were all up. then we had paper work, and Steph got her taxes done, now Lauren is the only one left to get her's done.  but i am too wore out to do them.  EO mostly worked with Steph, although there were a few hiccups that they needed me for.  Right now EO had to go tend to things at his dad's place, like shoveling the place out, among other things.  maybe when he gets back to night he can help her or maybe i will feel up to it tomorrow.

for today, i am just going to try and stop worrying about my brother and what he does or doesn't do.  the truth is, if he showed up tomorrow I would be thrilled.  so i just have to keep helping mom the best i can and not stress about the stuff i can't control.... easier said then done, but I will work on it.