I didn't expect to get so sick yesterday.  I knew I would be really tired from our night away, but... didn't think it would be as bad as it was yesterday.  Well, it may not have been as bad as it was if it wasn't for the fact i ran such a high fever yesterday morning.  I still managed my morning worship, but that was all i was able to do.  I couldn't get up the whole day.  So I just vegged. 

Now this morning, We did our morning worship, plus I listened to last night's meeting.  Yet another announcement that we have a new change we will be adjusting too.  My whole life we had 3 meetings a week, then one meeting turned into Family Worship, but the change with the C.O. visit going from 3 meetings to 2... that adjustment in the cong Bible study being switched to Family worship night (Or another night) just for that week during the C.O. visit.. Is sure going to be an interesting adjustment. 

It seems like just about every week there is another announcement for a new change. This 100 year anniversary of Jesus booting out Satan and his horde and Jesus appointed King.. it is sure a most amazing year.  Granted we have had plenty of changes over the years, but with all the changes this year, it sure feels like Jehovah is speeding up the work.  

I wish I would have remembered to have EO pick me up an application to Aux pioneer for next month.  Well, i was pretty out of sorts, i couldn't remember my name if my life depended on it.  but the other day I worked on a schedule and I have it figured out as to how I can aux next month.  With the Convention and doc apts and what not, I was able to come up with a plan.  And I talked to EO about it, and he is all for it and thinks my plan will work.  Well basically, he thinks, if I think it will work than he thinks so too, being I am the one who will be committing to putting in the time. Maybe I should write it down, so he will know I need him to pick one up.

When EO got home from the meeting, my fever had broke and I was doing better.  He said he was pretty stressed at the meeting.  He just had so much on his mind, that although he listened, it was all he could handle last night.  Someone had asked him how he managed to take care of my mom for so many years.  (23 years or so).  well, truth is, some days were pretty rough, as if we just didn't have the strength to keep going.  And then, Jehovah gave us what we needed at the time to get over the hurdle and give us steady endurance.   Last night he said, it just had to be Jehovah's hand in having her move up to Superior when she did, because that was right when his parents needed him more than ever.  He asked me, could it have been anything other than Jehovah's help?  I told him, not with how everything fell into place.  And he said, "and with how fast it all happened".  I agreed, it was just one day out of the blue, Lauren decided to ask her. And BAM!  they were living in Superior.  As it was, last fall, when we found out Carol had cancer, ... i talked with my mom, and said, her and I could do EO a huge favor but pulling back and allowing EO the time he needed to spend with his parents.  She agreed and really only asked him for help when she really needed it (which wasn't real often).  She continued to do that to help him out.  I am just so grateful for her kindness and empathy towards him.   But she well knows how the demands shift upon a person who has to support a family in crisis.  EO's load is so heavy.  I try my best not to ask more of him than what he can handle.  It isn't easy for me, some days are just so bad...like yesterday.  He had put a pizza in the oven for me, and he set the timer and said, your lunch will be ready when it goes off.  I remember saying  OK, and I must have sounded bad or something, because, he came back in the living room and sat on the couch and said, "actually, I could use a little break".  I don't want to make demands on him, but i was sure thankful yesterday he could help me, i couldn't have done it myself.  

now today, I'm doing better, still mega, super, wildly, extremely tired.  but i can form sentences, but with Jehovah's help, I can take care of things here so that he can take his dad to town to see Carol.  Bill has been so sick, he hadn't been up there to see her in 11 days. Which he still isn't doing well, but he is doing well enough to go today.  With Bill, Deenie and Stacy sick, it was up to EO to spend time with Carol.  I was there a couple times.  I asked Lauren and Steph to double their efforts to see her while the family is sick, so they were there a lot more. Colton was checking in on her too.  So that kind of stressed EO out a bit, because there is so much going on at the apts right now that he has needed to take care of, plus me, plus Bill, plus plus plus... 

It has been hard, no one knew this would go on this long.  Poor Carol, it is so hard to see her suffering.  I know a couple people have said they just can't handle seeing her like this.  I get it, it is such a hard thing to do.  I too have had people I couldn't go see when they were in the hospital.  You don't want to remember them that way.  I also have issues with going to funerals.  Many times I couldn't handle going. But in this case, I think Jehovah gives me the power beyond what is normal, to move me to put her first.  Granted I can't go every day due to my own health, however, I go when I can.  IDK... I know how I have issues and normally can't deal with this sort of thing, but..  it must be Jehovah helping me to go see her.

I have stated that this just makes me feel like i am reliving my own dad's battle with cancer.  However, from the time we found out to when he died was 3 months.  it was just so fast.  Where with Carol, we have passed the 9 months stage.  So I am bewildered by my own feelings and experience.  I have a feeling, when all is said and done, we are going to need some big time serious support from the cong. Not that we don't now... Especially EO, his loads are the heaviest, so we need support now, but we will need strength to be stable.

it has been a long morning and i need to rest.