Gram slept better last night.  She was so weak from her coughing spell yesterday we were all quite scared for her.  I know at her age regaining strength is next to impossible, but at least she has improved.  We are all just so worried.  

Mom says after talking to her on the phone and the weakness in her voice she just doesn't know how she will ever leave the hospital.  When she was talking to her, it became clear that Gram didn't think she would either.  Mom tried to counteract that by asking her if she will get lonesome when she gets home, because of all the activity there in the hospital all the time. Gram replied, "not at all".  It is too much activity.  there are only a few people who have been alternating taking care of her, but there are so many nurses in and out all the time, that she just doesn't rest well. We are all so on the edge that... *and breath*.

I don't want to think what today will bring for her.  I just hope she keeps making improvement.   I still have no idea what is going on with her blood pressure and heart troubles she is having.  Most of the infection is gone out of her lungs, so I thought that would cause less stress on her body and her blood pressure would improve.  But it hasn't yet.  I guess the docs are trying to figure it out, but we haven't heard anything about it yet.

I am holding it together a little better, granted my prayers are amp up, and I do have moments of anxiousness, but at least I am not as bad as I was.  My whole body is in a knot though.  

The horse trailer hasn't sold yet.  But everything else has.  We might need it when Steph moves.  EO wants to put a hitch on the car to pull a small trailer.  If he does that, then we would just use that to move her things.  She is busy with a painting job today.  EO is busy working for my mom and at the apts today.  Lauren will be leaving soon for work as well oh, and Colton is working at DQ today.  As for me, I fought a headache all day yesterday and I still have a touch of it today, so I am going to veg so that it doesn't get any worse.  I know it is partly due to the weather but largely due to stress.  Boy am I going to be sick a long time when this is all over.  Actually that isn't even an issue for me, it's not about me.  If she doesn't recover, mom will spiral down so fast...her clock is already coming up short.  If she lives another year it will be a shocking.  And then there is my mom's sister Marianna.  Her health is even more frail than my mom's.  Seriously frail.  My uncle had a stroke a few months ago... he is struggling.  Bettyrae is about 10 years younger than my mom, she is the baby of the family.  I really don't know if she can handle the stress of all of this.  I don't know.  But everyday, I am just so thankful Gram lived to see all her kids back in the truth.  She never gave up hope and she never stopped praying for all of her family.  She was able to go to each baptism of each of her children grandchildren and great grand children.  Although she has some Great Great grandchildren, their parents are not in the truth.  But she still has hope for them too.