As I ran a fever, I couldn't pull out of my funk, and struggled the whole rest of the night.  I tried but just got no where. Which distressed EO... then just when I thought I could pull out of it, more stress.  I couldn't even deal with it, I just had to let EO handle it.

Today my head is pounding, my back is totally flipping out BIG TIME and I couldn't be sicker.  I already know the day is just going to get worse as this stress intensifies and I will be a wreck.  I am in big time need of some serious pain meds, but when I take those, I can't think at all.  So I attacked my WT lesson for tomorrow and did my bible reading so that helped in many ways.  But i will spend the rest of the morning in prayer... at least until I take my pain meds...  cause i can't hold a serious thought for even a moment when I am on them.  I hate them because of that.  But what can you do?  It is either that or... i don't even want to think about it.

I was already stressed out and now ...i am a big time mess today.  maxed out, pulling my hair out and falling apart.  Run for cover, it won't be pretty.  


UPDATE:  So I wasn't going to say what specifically happened because if I say something before I am allowed, I get in big time trouble.  But phone calls are coming in, ... it wasn't me who said anything, turns out it was EO,... I warned him there could be backlash, but so far there isn't any.  
Steph is fine, she wasn't the one driving, but they were in her car.  I guess a number of cars were all slamming on their breaks, and although not all had damage, her car is toast!  



Since it was just a cheapy car, she just had basic insurance... so...  she is in the process of saving money for something bigger in her life, which will now have to be set back another 2 or 3 or 4 months, because she is going to have to buy another car.  She could afford a car payment but she has no credit, and we can't sign for her, because we signed for Colton's car and they won't let us sign for anyone else (as we tried months ago).  So we have a problem... if only my dad were alive, he would co-sign, but what can you do when you have no resources.  Oh well, she didn't like that car much, but she used it as that was all she had.  I do hope it doesn't set her back to many months, she has had one setback after another and it is getting old. 

For me, it isn't the accident that stresses me, it is the set back to her reaching her goals.  At first it made me anxious, but when i knew what the situation was, I was fine.  But... she has been working so hard on so many goals in her life, I hate that she has to have yet another delay.  I just don't want her to give up in trying to reach her goals thinking she can't ever reach them.  Granted we all have to learn how to deal with tribulations, and I don't mean to say I don't want her to learn how to stand on her own two feet.  And maybe she will weather this well and it just won't phase her, she may not even be effected by the accumulated damage, i just am afraid this will be the last straw, and I don't want her to break under the pressure. I'm sure it is all me... i am always looking at the bigger picture, always looking down the road at the "what if's" and trying to plan ahead, so many times I worry for nothing.  Most likely, this is another one of those times.