i broke down last night thinking there was no way I could aux pion.  As how could i ever have enough addresses to write to.  I couldn't even manage riding in the car with it so cold right now.  (as in out in the ministry)  My hands and feet hurt... the temp in the house went down yesterday as no one had lit a fire.  I can't even walk on the floor when the floor is cold as the pain from the cold is ... it feels like razor blades slicing one layer at a time off my hands and feet when they start to get cold.  I have to keep my feet off the floor all the time in the winter.  Not just in the winter.  So much of last summer I had to wear socks and gloves.  It is beyond excruciating, I seriously scream or at least silent scream daily because they hurt so bad. When I ride in a car, it is the worse, even with full heat blowing, it just doesn't help enough from the cold floor.  So how do i manage going door to door?  Even when i sit at the table I can't have my feet touch the floor.  So I broke down totally over whelmed.  EO is sick and he tried to help me.  But I knew the burden of getting addresses for me would fall on him.  So he felt over whelmed.  Then Colton talked to a couple of elders last night and they said they could help get me some, and then Colton said he would help too.  So EO felt like it wasn't all on him, and he was so happy because he was afraid of letting me down.  Maybe too the months will be warmer out so I can be outside.  Plus I can't handle bumpy roads so if he can get a territory that the roads are remotely decent.  We are all feeling better about it now.  I still am hesitating though.  I need to get over that and trust it will be ok.  i better do that soon.  right now i have doubt.