LOVE THIS!!!!!

Yeap, the stress we are dealing with is causing my rash to come back.  It isn't full blown on both sides of my arm yet, but I am sure it will show up very soon.  

Kids... you try to do your best, you pray daily to try and help them, but in the end, ... there is nothing you can do.  They will either listen to you or they won't... Jehovah had the same problem with his children and both the heavenly and earthly ones were/are perfect, they didn't all listen to him who taught them perfectly.  I am sure it pained Jehovah deeply, but being imperfect and weak makes it so much harder to cope.  

Sometimes I feel like we are so far gone from where we ought to be.  I feel like such a failure and I have totally let Jehovah down...every day.  I often say to myself, "if errors are all that Jehovah looks at, who could stand".  And that as long as we keep trying, it is our effort he looks at.  Not how much we accomplish, but the love behind what we do for him.  We are all limited in some way, so what we do despite our limitations is what is important.

It isn't just the stress and heartaches in life that are troubling me, I also have so much physical pain today.  My lymph nodes are swollen all over the place and it is just a challenge being awake today.  

Poor, EO... as I sit here bawling, I look up and see him on the lawn mower (that is sort of working right now) and he stops... he gets off and fiddles with it and then fiddles some more and then he starts backing up and backs it all the way to the garage.  I can't count how many times that mower has quit working on him.  Poor guy!!  On top of it, he isn't very mechanical, but he does try.  When he just can't figure it out, then he goes to Colton.  If Colton can't fix it then that means it is a far more serious problem.  Most of the trails have all been mowed and the lawn around the house, but he still has half of the field on the front side of the house to do.  It hasn't been mowed once this year (because of the mower not working).  Poor EO.  Next year he is going to have to get a new lawn tractor.   

Our table is cleaned off.  WooHoo!  We have gotten a lot more done too around here.  

normally, EO would never use his influence to get us ahead, but for some reason he felt compelled to make a call yesterday.  There are two apartments opening up. There were still two people ahead of Colton on the list.  One was being accepted for an apartment, and that meant there was one person who was ahead of him for the second apartment.  Well, EO unexpectedly got up and called the manager, and told him that when Steph moves in September EO will need to hire a new employee, and he is going to hire Colton (Ok, I guess who we hire is to our advantage as well, but being I had the kids help me clean since they were babies, management prefers having them as employees than anyone else.)  When the manager heard that, he was, "yeah we will always put an employee first on the list, which apartment does he want"... yeah, so Colton even was able to choose.  Funny thing, he wanted to be on the back side in the one bedroom and he could have had a three bedroom on the front side.   But he wants to keep it simple.  He doesn't want a lot of furniture.  I tried to tell him he should have a table with a couple chairs and a sofa, but he insists he doesn't want it.  He says he doesn't plan to have a bunch of people over  or anything like that.  The only thing he plans to get is a TV. 

He was planning to go into Steph's room when she leaves, but now he doesn't have to, and he can move into the apt in August.  As for Steph's room, Lauren is going to move some of her stuff in there.  We plan to put a louvered door in the hall way, so that the bathroom and two bedrooms can be more private for her.  We had come up with that idea when we were considering if my mom or someone else needed to move in, they could have their own little apartment (of sorts) we could even take the window out of Steph's room and put a windowed door there.  For an entrance.  By putting the door in hallway, that will keep the cats from going in there and help her with her allergies....  although Latte will be moving with her mama, so it will just be Milly here.  So in the next few months there will be all sorts of changes here.  I will most likely never get rid of this rash on my arm.

Colton is working all day at DQ, Steph works from 9 to 5 at the Merk and then goes right to DQ to work until 9... so a nice 12 hour day (she will be shot tonight).  Lauren has to work as well.  We plan to do family worship tonight, but if everyone is too wore out, we will do it tomorrow night.

I have done everything I can to distract myself from thinking to much about my pains.  So it is time to go get something done.