well, i got some bad news that I really don't need right now. but funding was cut, and the secondary insurance I had came to an end.  The criteria was cut by 150%.  So now we make to much.  Really.  We have no milk, no juice, no ginger ale for my sick stomach, I am nearly out of cereal that I can actually eat.  Not to mention all the other items we have little to nothing left.  We don't qualify for food shelf or anything else.  We don't have 4 wheelers or toys that most people around her have.  And now I don't have help with my medical insurance. As it is I pay $150 a month for my medicare, and now.... 

i'm not handling the news well at all.  EO says, we will just do the best we can.  But, now I can't go to the doctor as I can't afford to pay the co-payments and the 20% that my medicare doesn't cover.  I was planning on getting help with my masses again, except I won't be able to afford the lab fees either. I had more doctoring to do with my stomach and my thyroid.  I have to do the thyroid one, no choice there.  I also have an eye apt.  Plus I wanted to get new glasses.  Which I can't do anymore. EO says don't worry. I won't worry, I just won't go to the doc anymore.

What do I always say to myself?   Jehovah will provide.  What will help, is to not go to the doc anymore.  He does provide, but, you do have to do your part too.  

maybe if my nerves weren't so maxed out right now.  maybe if this didn't happen now when we are at an emotional low... but i know, Satan always hits us when we are at our lowest...always!  and it isn't just one thing, he is always an onslaught of overwhelming and critical issues.  EO is worried we won't have enough money for the Convention.  Much of our paychecks that are coming up before we leave will go toward the Convention.  Which does mean, we still won't have any groceries.  In fact, we have been having trouble for awhile. But, this month it is extra rough with needing money for the Convention.  

We tried to sell a few things to help, but nothing sold, and the few things we put in the auction was basically given away.  So no help there.  

I have tried not to stress about this stuff.  i have tried to just focus on other things, but this insurance issue, just knocked me on my bum and seeing how I am so insanely stressed right now, it is just shaking me up more than normal.  I can't get a grip yet.  

i mean, we did pay out a little more than we expected for flowers for the funeral, but we didn't want to ask for help with it, being Bill is having to pay out sooooooo much for everything else.  we just wish we could help him more.  I am going to go buy thank you cards today, to try and help so he doesn't have to do that. Plus it will save him from having to go out and go shopping too.  We figure we need about 60-80 cards.  

I know it is just the timing.  i know Jehovah always provides a way out, and He always makes sure we have what we need. 

A big chunk of the reason I write in this blog, is so I can work things out.  I can just organize my thoughts.  When I have issues and my short comings get the better of me, I can work them out so I can adjust and focus on Jehovah.  I then can get it straight and keep positive for not just me, but also my family. This is one of those times, where is it extra hard on me.  But I'm feeling like I am getting a little bit of grip already, it will get better as time goes on.  Once we get past Saturday, and once we get past the money issue with the Convention and we recover from those, then I will see how Jehovah helped us through those days, and needing money for meds and docs, can be addressed down the road. 

we received a Sympathy card in the mail yesterday.  i thought it was so thoughtful.  EO really appreciated it too.

Steph and I are leaving in a bit to get our hair done.  Steph is paying for mine. She treated me last year too.