Wishing you smiles today!
 
 Although I still have a headache, at least it isn't a migraine.  I am still working on my knots and using ice packs, but it is so much better than what it was. I don't want to risk doing much to aggravate it.  

I did not want to wake up this morning. I am super tired today... but last night i ran a pretty high fever, and sitting is very painful today.  I usually am pretty tired when my lymph nodes are all flared up, so it is just another normal day for me.  Oh, and I am saying things wrong ALOT today, like I asked EO to pick up some adhesive elastic... could you imagine such a thing... i dont' think adhesive elastic would be a good product at all. What I meant to say to EO is, adhesive velcro.  The thing is, I have no clue why I said elastic?  Plus there was a bunch of other stuff I said totally wrong as well.  This is why phone Witnessing is so hard for me, I have no idea that I am saying stuff wrong.  At least with letter writing I can copy words and I can fix my mistakes.... oh and I do my letter writing in pencil now (I have been for some time now) because I make SOOOOO many mistakes.  I am often writing wrong words and splelling (see... I do this non stop) "spelling", but then I have talked about this before.  It isn't a "typo", it is, I can't unscramble the workds ... words in my head.  

This makes me think of Steph, her dyslexia is frequently a problem for her at work.  I don't think I have ever talked about it.  She has always been dyslexic.  It seems to happen more with numbers than when.. with letters (although it effects both) but it also effects her reading comprehension and communication skills.  She really struggles to explain things to others, especially when she has a list of things she has to explain or when it gives her the most trouble is expressing her feelings.  Some think she is just always been really moody, but the problem is she is mostly frustrated in her lack of comprehending how to express herself.  What often happens is, she will be trying to explain how she is feeling about something, but not be able to make her point.  I will start to explain it for her, and then she will concur that is what she meant.  On top of it, her memory is very poor (due to lupus) and so she won't remember how to explain the same subject again for the next time.  This is also what she has a hard time in the ministry.  She can't remember what she just read, because she doesn't get that much out of it .... like reading a WT mag, because of the dyslexia, she struggles to read the words and she struggles to comprehend what she is reading, on top of it, she can't remember what she just read, and so to memorize a presentation.....   whoa!  I have tried to work with her, I still work with her, but it is so hard.  If she can do it ... like making a coffee drink, because she has made it so many times she remembers how to make it.  However when it comes to the WT & Awake mags, they change each month and that isn't enough time for her to remember a single presentation, before she has to relearn a whole new presentation.  

I understand what is happening for her.... I cannot count how many times I see a word and I would "swear on the Bible" what that word is... but after looking at it 5 or 6 times, I begin to see the word is a totally different word than what I saw previously.  This is so very frustrating at times.  for example... I see a word and I believe it is   "Prawn", but it is actually "Pawn"..  I often add letters or subtract letters.  I could understand subtracting a letter, as merely, just missed it.  But adding a letter?  The thing is, I see the letter "R" in word, and I am sure I am seeing it, but it isn't really there.  What is that?  That is another reason why it is hard to do phone witnessing, because even though I have a script to read from, I don't trust my brain to not read something that isn't there.  Granted I still try to phone witnesses, it is scares me, how many times have I said wrong things?  I actually have caught myself doing it, but how about the times I didn't catch myself?  It scares me.   I think that is why Steph is scared in the ministry too... she doesn't trust herself to not mess up.  It isn't just a matter of being nervous as some think.  She vomits and physically shakes and breaks down crying just going to the door.... people don't find it funny when she barfs on their lawn.  Steph really hates that she is like this, and doesn't want to give up trying.  I guess that is all any of us can do... just not give up.

So EO and Steph went to town today.  EO is getting my supplies for organizing under our sink.  I am super excited!!!  It will be so awesome to have it all nice and neat!  

What an awesome provision the faithful slave gave us with the new JW.org site.  I keep the "news tab" link right on top of my browser so I can check it for any new info. Oh.... but I really loved that part on the meeting to help everyone to see how easy the site is laid out, how beneficial it is and how you can use it not just on the computer but on your smart phones... now I really want to get a smart phone.  I have been toying with the idea, but it would cost more money to get one.  But I think the next phone we buy will be a smart phone...maybe.  Even Colton said he hadn't see the videos on the JW site, which shocked me. because he uses the site almost everyday.  But I had seen those videos before, they sure are wonderful.  While I listened to the meeting I had the site up on my computer, and went along with what Jim was doing.  I do love their site, and I so love listening to the mags and dramas and other pubs on there. So I thought it was very loving to have that part on the meeting because I know there are lots of people who just don't know how to use it, or haven't used a computer much to know what they are missing out on.  Or whatever the reason.  It sure is wonderful!!!

Being I didn't realize it was December until ... last week, I forgot to listen to Jan's mags.  How fun is that, that we had those mags 2 months ago, and it talked about Dec 21 doomsday, and it asked how people felt about it not coming true... It made me crack up laughing that Jehovah's org is so ahead of things (not that I thought anything would happen, cause it that is a no brainer) but it doesn't mean people in the world didn't fear it.  But because of it, the mags were ready because it is a subject that would be on people's minds.  So maybe I shouldn't have laughed, but I still did.