deeply moved
Posted by Robyn Nelson on Friday, August 2, 2013
We watched the video last night for family worship. I was really tired as we started it at 9:30 when Colton got home from school, and the video is 90 some minutes long, plus another 8 or 9 minutes because we also watched the interviews. Then we talked about it for a bit. Everyone was deeply moved by it. Steph realizes how much we will worry about her when she moves. I told her we have worried about her and Colton and Lauren from the day we found out I was pregnant. We will always worry about them. Well, I hope in the new system we won't have to worry. I wonder what it will be like to not be worried about something every moment of every day?
my hands are really hurting... actually, with all the writing I did at the DC, my fingers have been screaming at me ALOT more than normal. I wish there was some way I could sooth the pain. Heat makes them throb more, and cold is a whole other problem that I have, and that just feels like hundreds of razor blades that are slicing into my fingers and the reason why I have a cup cozy in my purse so if I buy a cold drink I can hold it, as well as gloves that I keep in my purse at all times in case I have to go into a store with A/C, or like at the D.C. my fingers were so cold at one point I had to wear my gloves so I could keep taking notes. Some of the meds I have for the pain in my fingers, open up the blood vessels in my hands which makes my hands very warm all the time. But, I still can't touch anything cold. And here I keep typing away, which is just as hard on my fingers as anything else. I have to keep stopping and give my fingers a moment to rest.
Yesterday did turn out tough on me. I spent most of the day in bed. Today... after having to go to town...and being up late for family worship... yeah, I am shot. So shot... insanely shot, painfully shot, tearfully shot. I am on the verge of crying right now, I don't feel like I am about to run a fever, I think my body is just so maxed out in pain and fatigue, that it is a physical response not an emotional one. I have had it a few times where I have been in such excruciating pain, that my body shakes and I have tears streaming down my face... not a boo hoo, just a physical reaction to my pain.

