can only imagine
Posted by Robyn Nelson on Thursday, August 29, 2013
EO stayed with his dad again last night. He had come home to drop off some groceries and pick up a few things last night. I talked to him about his mom and he told me how the mass was all the way across her abdomen. and that the doc had left the little stuff behind (little as being 1 cm or less in size). And also all the way across where the mass was, the tissue is like cancer sandpaper, and that the Chemo would destroy that as well. That she would still build up a little bit of fluid, but it wouldn't be as fast and as much as before. I can only imagine (or maybe I can't) that if she would have taken the chemo route first then surgery... with all that fluid and pain? that would have been impossible for her to have dwelt with since she couldn't even eat. She is going to have to go through a lot more discomfort with the chemo. EO is trying to prepare himself for what is to come and I just want to be there to support him.
It sounds like even though Carol is sleeping a lot, she is sitting up more and they plan to have her walking a little bit today. The docs have said, it speeds healing to get people up and walking within the first 12-24 hours after surgery. CRAZY but it really does work.
I am going to see if I can list most of the visitors that were at the hospital. Besides the Nelson & Staelens family
- C.O. and his wife
- Randy & Mary
- Jimmy Abbott
- Kelly Title
- Kay Flamang
- Sharron Rathkey
- Harris'
- Linda Llyod
- Kristi w/Tirus
- Grovers
- some Stutes
- some Christionsons
- Ethel
- ... I think John & Kim were there... as Mark is just two doors down from Carol.
I know I am forgetting somebody. most of the friends brought various kinds of snacks to share. But it was a big chunk of the cong there.
So today EO had to take my mom to some doc apts and to run a few errands. But it has been arranged so that EO can spend some time with his mom today, not as much as he would like, but at least some. My Grandma and one of my aunts were going to meet up with them today. So it is another long day for EO. He should get home around 7 or 8. But he will be coming home tonight and Stacy will be staying with Grandma tonight. I think Steph will be staying at the hospital tomorrow night so that Deenie can have a night at home. It will be musical beds for the next couple weeks until Carol gets back home. I have no idea what the plan will be after that.
When EO came home last night... boy he looked like he had been beaten up. We talked for a little while, and he is so worried about everything. Yesterday was a roller coaster for him and it wasn't a fun ride. He is very worried and with good reason. I wasn't planning to tell him about my day yesterday, but he cornered me... literally. He said, "when did i say you had to clean the house?" i said, yesterday, you pointed to the laundry and said the laundry needs to get done and to clean the kitchen and sort the groceries and check on the chickens and clean things up." I then told him...that no one was going to be home, that i had done laundry the day before, and he said, "i know, i do laundry just about every day" and he kind of continued on about the chores. So yesterday, I did the house cleaning and took care of the chickens. I thought many times, "does he really think i can do these jobs, he must because he knows no one would be here but me".
So EO grabbed me and said..."whenever i talk about doing chores, i NEVER MEAN YOU". (he didn't yell, he just said it clear and slowly). Then he told me that he just meant for me to make sure the girls did the work... i said, you are forgetting, i told you they weren't going to be here. Lauren said, well he had been up for 28 straight hours when he said it. Which is why he didn't hear me say they wouldn't be here. But i did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and my bathroom, laundry, sorting groceries and feeding the chickens. I cried at times, because it was way to hard for me to do. At least Lauren had vacuumed and dusted the day before so I didn't have to do that besides. Then they were all saying, "your not even suppose to lift anything, so how could you think you could do this work". i told them, because that was what he wanted done. Oh well... we kind of went round and round with it. But i know he doesn't want me doing stuff, and he wants me to get stricter with the girls. well, to lean on them more. i want to lean less on EO so that he can feel like he can be there for his parents more, which means I need to lean on the girls more to take care of things. Right now, he feels like he can't be gone, because no one would be here for me. We can fix that, today I plan to come up with a plan with the girls. now that i understand my issues a little more, maybe i can keep them better in check so he doesn't have to worry so much.
I made my service time. I have 190 hours for the service year. it really bugs me though... 190... it is the number, i wish i could get another 10 hours to round that number out to 200... me and my stupid OCD stuff. If it were 150 I would be fine, or 100 or 200... but 190... augh! but i more than surpassed my goal for the service year. So I am just so so so happy about that and I will just have to push it out of my mind that it is such an odd number. I guess i can look at the bright side, in that it has a zero on the end, otherwise i would be pushing to it get more time to round that out. oh well... sometimes I have some of the dumbest things that I obsess about... numbers and pens. I used pink for years for my day's text. The last few years i have been using green. it bugged me for a long time, but enough years have gone by now that i am doing better with it. Also I have used a purple pen and pink highlighter for my WT for many years. and i can't stand when someone writes in my mag with a different color. I have a light bluish pen and yellow highlighter for the new book we are studying. I'm not doing anything fancy with my Jeremiah book, just black. It is the same with my KM... i would rather scrub toilets at grand central station then use the wrong color pen in something i am studying... OCD is so much fun lol.
So today EO had to take my mom to some doc apts and to run a few errands. But it has been arranged so that EO can spend some time with his mom today, not as much as he would like, but at least some. My Grandma and one of my aunts were going to meet up with them today. So it is another long day for EO. He should get home around 7 or 8. But he will be coming home tonight and Stacy will be staying with Grandma tonight. I think Steph will be staying at the hospital tomorrow night so that Deenie can have a night at home. It will be musical beds for the next couple weeks until Carol gets back home. I have no idea what the plan will be after that.
When EO came home last night... boy he looked like he had been beaten up. We talked for a little while, and he is so worried about everything. Yesterday was a roller coaster for him and it wasn't a fun ride. He is very worried and with good reason. I wasn't planning to tell him about my day yesterday, but he cornered me... literally. He said, "when did i say you had to clean the house?" i said, yesterday, you pointed to the laundry and said the laundry needs to get done and to clean the kitchen and sort the groceries and check on the chickens and clean things up." I then told him...that no one was going to be home, that i had done laundry the day before, and he said, "i know, i do laundry just about every day" and he kind of continued on about the chores. So yesterday, I did the house cleaning and took care of the chickens. I thought many times, "does he really think i can do these jobs, he must because he knows no one would be here but me".
So EO grabbed me and said..."whenever i talk about doing chores, i NEVER MEAN YOU". (he didn't yell, he just said it clear and slowly). Then he told me that he just meant for me to make sure the girls did the work... i said, you are forgetting, i told you they weren't going to be here. Lauren said, well he had been up for 28 straight hours when he said it. Which is why he didn't hear me say they wouldn't be here. But i did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and my bathroom, laundry, sorting groceries and feeding the chickens. I cried at times, because it was way to hard for me to do. At least Lauren had vacuumed and dusted the day before so I didn't have to do that besides. Then they were all saying, "your not even suppose to lift anything, so how could you think you could do this work". i told them, because that was what he wanted done. Oh well... we kind of went round and round with it. But i know he doesn't want me doing stuff, and he wants me to get stricter with the girls. well, to lean on them more. i want to lean less on EO so that he can feel like he can be there for his parents more, which means I need to lean on the girls more to take care of things. Right now, he feels like he can't be gone, because no one would be here for me. We can fix that, today I plan to come up with a plan with the girls. now that i understand my issues a little more, maybe i can keep them better in check so he doesn't have to worry so much.
I made my service time. I have 190 hours for the service year. it really bugs me though... 190... it is the number, i wish i could get another 10 hours to round that number out to 200... me and my stupid OCD stuff. If it were 150 I would be fine, or 100 or 200... but 190... augh! but i more than surpassed my goal for the service year. So I am just so so so happy about that and I will just have to push it out of my mind that it is such an odd number. I guess i can look at the bright side, in that it has a zero on the end, otherwise i would be pushing to it get more time to round that out. oh well... sometimes I have some of the dumbest things that I obsess about... numbers and pens. I used pink for years for my day's text. The last few years i have been using green. it bugged me for a long time, but enough years have gone by now that i am doing better with it. Also I have used a purple pen and pink highlighter for my WT for many years. and i can't stand when someone writes in my mag with a different color. I have a light bluish pen and yellow highlighter for the new book we are studying. I'm not doing anything fancy with my Jeremiah book, just black. It is the same with my KM... i would rather scrub toilets at grand central station then use the wrong color pen in something i am studying... OCD is so much fun lol.
