Steph calls me  "mama duck", I call her baby duck, that is why I love this pic, ... me with my 3 little quackers.  One has been in the water, one is about to go in the water and the third is staying on shore for awhile.
 
I am so excited that the C.O. visit starts today!!!  Wahoo!!!  It is always fun getting to know a new couple.  And so hard when the C.O. you come to care about has to leave.  So I have my notebook ready for the meeting tonight.

Our house guest was planning on staying for the meeting tonight but he had to leave this morning.  Colton is still sleeping, Steph is off to work, Lauren is sleeping as well.  EO had to go to work at the apts. Everyone seems to be back into their regular routine.

My ribs are hurting so bad today.  I can't even take a deep breath without crying.  So I won't be doing much today.  

Colton just got up, he has been coughing and hacking this morning, I think he is getting sick :(  

So Jeff brought with him a Chi tea, called Bangle Spice... I was addicted on the first sip.  So yesterday I had to get some more and I replaced the 2 bags I used from Jeff's box, even though he said I didn't have to.  There is so much spice it is almost hot but is just so yummy.  I have been thinking about trying it iced with milk but I haven't yet.  I have tried it cold though and I like it that way too.  I had to thank him for sharing that.

Boy, I am not doing good today.  I'm really excited about tonight but my health today is ... it is... something deep down inside of me that isn't right.  I hate that feeling.  I can't really explain what is wrong but I just know something deep down isn't right.

I was up most of the day yesterday.  Although i had the back pain I was able to be up and doing stuff, until about 5pm, which I was just spent and had to lay down.  I still got up a number of times but then turned around and laid down again at least until Steph got home, then I went and sat on her bed and we talked for about an hour, then my meds were just making me too dizzy so we went and climbed into my bed and we talked for almost another hour.  ... whoa, for a moment i thought i saw blood running down colton's arm.  that was so strange I just kept looking at his arm and i couldn't see it again, so it wasn't there I guess, which is a good thing.  

 .... anyway, Steph is going to be making some changes in her life, she really needs to.  Actually, she has been making a lot of changes in her life that past couple years, trying to reach out to others, but it has been difficult.  Very very very difficult. Too many times unbearable. Now she is looking else where to get what she needs, because she has too.  It is great that she is finding true and loyal friends now.  So as she goes off to spend time with them, we will be seeing her less and less.  Which is just preparing me for when one day, some day she makes a permanent move.  I took my time with her as I knew she would be my last baby.  I drew closer to her because I knew one day she would live thousands of miles away, and I wouldn't see her for a long time.  I knew I would miss her face and the many ways she could make me laugh.  And laugh we did, as she could make me laugh harder than anyone I have ever known, she even tops out her father and I didn't think that was possible.  She has learned how to break an awkward silence, how to be bold and strong for the truth and how to laugh at herself so much earlier in her life than I did, in fact it all seem to come quite natural for her and that amazes me. 

It's not to say i didn't have my closeness with Colton or Lauren.  But Colton was always on the move and I knew he would be gone in a blink.  I knew if I held on too tight he would run and I didn't want him to leave that way.  With him I just stood back and watched and tried to guide as best as I could.  He had his mind made up on so many things knowing just what he wanted before he could even read.  He always had commanding presents and never seemed to be afraid of the full strength limelight as both Leon and I have always been.  He has always had his own mind, and that too is something I had to learn how to have far later in my life than in his.   

And in Lauren's quiet world, she always pushed me away when she was little and kept me at arm's length, but she was always by my side.  Although I knew one day she would leave, she would never be real far away.  She has always known and accepted the obligation of caring for her family.  Before she could hardly speak she was looking out for the well being of others and comforting them when they needed comfort, celebrating with them on their accomplishment and supporting them in their endeavors.  A "mom" in every sense of the word.

I love my babies, each with their own uniqueness to them.  The hardest part of having kids is watching them leave.  Some families stay close together, living near each other, spending each day together.  Some families see each other often but not every day.  Some families leave and don't look back.  I know my family will never be the first type, but I pray it isn't the last.