This week we have the C.O. visit & poor teffy is feeling so awful, she isn't going to make it to the meeting tonight.  She won't make it Thursday either after her surgery.  ... She only has to make it through another day & a half and she will be feeling better.  Well, she will be able to start healing and then feeling better.

Mom cleaned both of our dvd/vcr's  not sure if the living room one even works, but the one in our bedroom worked better, so I put it in the living room so we can start re...
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So we were able to have lunch together, it was so great.  I didn't get to visit with Gram as much as I would have liked, but i did get lots of hugs from her and Auntie.  We really enjoyed the visit, and the food was fabulous!  Lauren did a great job. 

I got off a letter to Berkie today.  It is so hard. 

Steph is in agony.  Her tooth is killing her.  She even tries to loosen it herself, but can't.  At least she will be getting it out in just under 4 days.  She said if she had to wait any longe...
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Lauren asked if she could make a turkey dinner and have Grandpa & Grandma over.  With so much going on, it worked better for us to have them over for lunch.  Then today, I got a call, that Great Grandma & Auntie BRae are coming down tomorrow morning and want to visit me (& ma) for awhile.  They won't be in town real long though.  So after talking to Lauren & Leon... we invited ma, gram & auntie to join us for lunch (& colton). 

I was thinking today, how much I needed some encouragement, havin...
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some days it is just so hard to cope.  some days i just wish i had someone i could vent to.
some days I just want to cry all day.  some days I just want to scream as loud as i can.
some days I don't feel like i can breath.  some days i ....

"imagine" by John Lennon just came on pandora... i hate that song as much as i love it.
i hate that it makes me cry so much.  i love that all i think of is the new system when he sings it.
could he have been witness too and that is where the song came from?  ma...
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I can't remember if i wrote about Steph's troubles with the dentist.  For a routine check up, she has been into the dentist office 5 times.  The last thing, when she was going in for the root canal, they broke a file off in the root and couldn't get it out.  So they put a temp cap on it and left it there.  AUGH!  Wednesday she will be going into a different dentist, partly because of our insurance, but so we can get a straight answer as to if it is fixable or not.  To get it out she will need...
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It is time, time for the girls to start their lives.   I talked to Steph that now is the time to start going to the meetings in other congs.  Not every meeting, but just once in awhile.  I told them to start off easy by going to a meeting in a cong they know, so the picked Meadowlands and they went today.  It was a great pick since they had the C.O. visit today too. 

They talked to many of the friends and really enjoyed the visit.  Plus, since it was the last C.O. visit with their current CO,...
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from the moment i woke up this morning, i have been cranky.  everything has been a real challenge, thinking, talking, being around others.  it just seems to be taking all of my energy to focus.  oh well. in this state i am in, it is making me feel very alone.  i'm missing Kelly.  it is hard not to dwell on her.  i just don't feel like i have anyone i can talk to, anyone who is not going to say "suck it up" or "move on" or just blow me off.  i sit and listen to others whine, gripe, complain ab...
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